I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
