nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
