I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
