I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
wanna go halves on a baby?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Randomize
