i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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