between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
she peed on how many people?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
