so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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