Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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