I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just forgot I was standing up.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
