took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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