Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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