Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
