Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
