Nicole vs. Life
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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