just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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