bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Swine flu is the new snow day.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
