WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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