im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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