remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
