I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I can text with my tongue
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
