We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I need to calm my uterus...
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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