ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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