let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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