using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
