Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize