i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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