Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
