You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
