Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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