Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
