did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
