Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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