cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
