So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
should my penis look like a turkey
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I got inside last night via doggy door
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
