Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize