yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize