Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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