Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
honey bunches of taint.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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