i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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