I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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