Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Randomize
