It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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