i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You have to summon your inner elephant
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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