my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
His hands were made for my vagina.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
