hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
