i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
