Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
