she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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