Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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