the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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