I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
