There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
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