GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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