dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
