sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
