I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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