I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
