the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize