garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
