its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
