Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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