The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
