Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
