it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize