Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
